lily and maggie

i miss my kitties! they're sooo cute!!

a snip-it from break

nothing like digging forts in the giant snowpiles at the end of the driveway. how cute are we? i mean, seriously, i love us. and ya know, we should eat more often - it's fun!
miss you ab!

this seems familiar

well, i've gone to all my classes for the first time. my geo classes sound good, my poetry workshop should be fun, and math....is math..poo. and i even started doing homework and reading *gasp* i can hardly believe it myself. i did make time to clean my closet, store away old books, and rearrange my desk shelves, as well as some good ole procrastination in the form of mindless web-surfing and tv-watching.
i went to see "a very long engagement" with jen and kathryn last night - i highly recommend it. it was nothing of what i was expecting, and it was spectacular. but boo to the avon for jacking up ticket prices again...soon it'll be just as expensive as the mall!
my bro's bday is this weekend and i'm thinking of going up to boston sunday for brunch and what-not. he definitely wasn't home long enough over break, so it'll be nice to see him, as it always is. i'm really happy i have a cool brother that i like.
it's been weird being back, as it as always is too. i want to quote zoolander and the best of will ferrell, but then i realize i'm not with abby. "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you ugly, hey hey, you ugly! K-I-N-G, you can't take my king from me, you ugly, hey hey, you ugly!" it'll never get old...at least i hope not haha.
i'm debating whether or not to go to the dining hall for dinner. hmm...ratty, or wait for jo's, or make some mac n cheese? oh oh oh, oatmeal...mmm, i'm gonna have oatmeal. ok, now that i've got that figured out, i'm gonna go make it. later.

p.s. the new pic is (l-r) abby, rachel, emily, me

best break of all time

this break fucking rocked like no other. i'm really glad i didn't end up working at k10 too, cuz then break felt longer...and happier.
thanks to ab, em, and rach for some awesome times. i'll miss you girls. ab, i miss you already. i really don't want to go.....at all. is it wrong that i am still so attached to home? sometimes i think i'm abnormal in that respect. but i do love it here. my bbf, my home, the town i know and a car to drive. it's tough leaving...
well, i have to get to the packing. it's not going to do it on its own. let's hope i can fit everything.....

i was expecting a much higher number

so....is it a good or bad thing that i got lower than i thought i would? i think i am a bit disappointed.

chicago was pretty fun. i was hoping for more shopping, but still, i love the art museum and the museum of science and industry. the latter needs to get hopping on the body slices exhibit though. for two years, i've wanted to see it, and for two years, it's been unavailable while being revamped. it was quite a quick trip though. left me with plenty of time to visit ab.....mmm hot chocolate, long walks in the very cold, tv, quiet boys, scary movies, drunk friends, stolen soup....good times. i was planning on going to a rummage sale this morning with my mom and then to the air zoo....instead, i slept til 1 and am still in pjs. hehe.
damn kelly clarkson. can't get her song out of my head. for a good four days now. argh.
should i get dressed? i really don't want to. it's still snowing. looks real cold out there. i should really shower, but then i will have wet hair. wet hair is no fun when it's cold.
i was in a bad mood most of the weekend. i really am tired of being so irritable and angry. i should do something about that, no?

i don't know how to describe it exactly, but it sucks

i don't know what it is, but i just did not want to drive home tonight. i kept contemplating driving for hours instead of pulling into my driveway, thought about taking turns that wouldn't lead home, at least not for awhile. but i went straight home anyway. it's not that i want to go back to school, or that i don't for that matter, i just feel trapped at home. my days....even though i sleep through most of it....seem so move by so slowly. and i know i should be reviewing calc, or looking at my "things to do over break" list, but i don't. i don't know what i am expecting or how to make the days better, i just feel so stuck. on top of that, the stupid photo machine at k10 ate my three dollars tonight, thanks to geordie turning off the wrong switches so that the damn machine rebooted right after i put the last dollar bill in. yea, disappointed pretty much sums up how i'm feeling these days. and blah, that's another good one.
heading to chicago with mom, jeff, and his kids this weekend. should be fun, other than the whole getting up early to leave part. and the fact that everyone and everything is annoying the crap out of me lately. except ab. she's really the only person i can stand being around right now. that might be why my days are so boring, since she's got class and all.
i've been doing a good job this break not dwelling on how much time i have left before going back to brown. but in the past few days, i've been realizing how little time is left. it sucks to realize that. it's not that i don't want to go back, and i know i just went on and on about how trapped i feel at home, but i like being here, in portage that is. not necessarily at home. i wish ab was still on break, then we could still stay up late and hang out at her house and go to meijers at weird hours and play frisbee in the dark in the street. ah well, enough with the wishing. it's fun to hang out with her and drive a lot and we have some fun activities planned before i go back to school.
i'm not tired. i don't know what's wrong with me. even when i go to sleep early, i still get up after noon. i rarely even wake up before then, but if i do, i just think "there's really no point in getting up," so i go back to sleep until it's just disgusting how late it is. i need an activity. one outside of the home. i need errands, and adventures, and purpose. and right now i need to lay in bed for awhile and try to sleep.

my personal review of 2004

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
drank with ab, played drunk frisbee, joined a sports team and stuck with it, got into an accident in a bmw that wasn't mine

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i don't usually make them, at least not in declaration. but i guess i always just want to be more comfortable with myself

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
no, but this chick i went to middle school with got knocked up. so weird

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no one close, but some people i knew

5. What countries did you visit?
the good ole U S of A and canada

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
more male friends, perhaps more than that. a little more confidence wouldn't hurt either

7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
ab's graduation was a good one, although i'm not sure of the exact date. oh, and finishing my freshmen year!!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
surviving chem. loosening up. sticking with frisbee

9. What was your biggest failure?
the lack of social confidence, i guess. oh, and the whole crashing the bmw that wasn't mine thing

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
just had the flu a couple weeks ago

11. What was the best thing you bought?
a new pair of my maroon new balances. man i love em

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
kathryn for having the guts to ask out her crush

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
mostly my own

14. Where did most of your money go?
an ipod, lots of eating out, and other useless crap

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
coming home for breaks, having a crush, going back to school

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
um. britney spears' "toxic" it's sad, but that's the first thing i could think of

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? about the same, which is more sad than happy
ii. thinner or fatter? probably fatter. yes, for sure.
iii. richer or poorer? poorer. thanks k10!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
exercising. being myself. speaking my mind. finding more friends. meeting guys. the list goes on and on.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
eating less junk. stressing about shit that doesn't matter. wallowing in my own self-pity.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
at home with the fam

22. Did you fall in love in 2004?
sadly, no. very sadly.

23. How many one-night stands?
zeeeerrrrrrro

24. What was your favorite TV program?
the OC, ER, and always dawson's creek

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
eh, not hate. such a strong word

26. What was the best book you read?
the amazing adventures of kavalier and clay and all the harry potter books

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
so many! let's go with snow patrol.

28. What did you want and get?
all the things on my xmas list i suppose, seeing my bro a lot this semester, visiting him in boston for the weekend before finals

29. What did you want and not get?
um. boys.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
i heart huckabees, garden state, kill bill 2

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
went with jen and kathryn to dinner. tried to order wine and failed....yea, i don't look old enough and i "forgot" my ID. turned 20.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
having ab come visit me at school

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
t-shirts, jeans, red shoes, hoodie. it's pretty simple, really

34. What kept you sane?
am i sane? i think knitting and listening to music

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
can't think of one

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the election, GW in general

37. Who did you miss?
family, friends, kitties

38. Who was the best new person you met?
j-net, geordie, frisbee girls

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004.
um. don't give up ?

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
i....can't....think...of...any...

blah

well, time for the daily update. i.e. i have nothing to do right now, i'm just filling time. but thanks for reading anyway :)
just got back from a movie and dinner with my momma. it was nice to have a night with her. we saw spanglish, which was not what i expected, and frankly i wasn't impressed. but anyway...we ate at qdoba, mmm. every person that was there was annoying the hell out of me though. just stupid, inane conversations and dumb people. i don't know what it was, every single person got on my nerves. at lesat i had mom there to make fun of people with me.
i don't feel like typing anymore.

girl's night out.....and in

had coffee with andrea, kathryn, and lissa tonight. it was fun times catching up, sharing stories, although i was lacking in the stories-about-boys department. so sad. no really, it was. anyway, we decided to watch garden state after kathryn said "i want to watch garden state right now." good idea, no? i picked up ab and we all headed to my house. good movie. lissa goes back to MSU tomorrow, so it was good to see her before she left. kathryn will be here about as long as me, and andrea's always nearby at K. so i'm hoping to see them again soon. man, it's so late already. i'm so bad at staying up late and sleeping away the day. all i did as far as cleaning today was to vacuum the hallway upstairs. and my list was: vacuum the house, wash all the floors....hmm, i have a busy day ahead tomorrow. ab's spending the night....oh man, our new microwave is so nice and quiet!!!! so great, no buzzing. alright, ab's telling me a story, so i'm gonna devote all my attention.

quite the busy day...

having decided i'm not working at k10 this break after all, i've been cleaning the house to make some sort of money and not just sit on my ass. so yea, i don't think my brother's room has been cleaned in.....oh, ever. the dust was a good half an inch thick. i lied, that was an exaggeration, but it was pretty damn thick. and he doesn't throw anything away! there was used wrapping paper, more than a few corroded batteries, and lots of entertaining sketches and old homework assignments. so once i thought i had cleaned his room, i dusted a little in the family room and then snow-blowed (snow-blew?) and shoveled the driveway. whew. and then i went back to my bro's room and cleaned it again. well, i just wasn't happy with it the first time around. i had looked at his crazy, dusty bookcase and swore it was just going to have to stay that way....but i changed my mind. man, i can't get the dust out of my system though. so much sneezing.
well, i polished off season four of dawson's creek on dvd tonight. i love to hate that show. it's so horribly good, but i always feel so crappy after watching it. i seriously live my life through these people, and they're not even real. ah well. what can i do but wait with bated breath for season five?
i'm really excited to see kathryn, andrea, and alissa tomorrow night. i hope we have plenty of time to chill and whatnot.
um um. i'm running out of things.....um.
crap it's late.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

i love the snow! it looks fake right now. lots of little pieces falling straight down lazily. but then the wind blows, so it has to be real. i really, really, really need to be getting up earlier. i've been getting up at 2 pm since i've been feeling better, and i actually had to force myself to get up at 1 today. how sad. i want to play in the snow today....oooh, i wanna go sledding!!

AAARRRGGGHHHH K10!!!! I WILL GET YOU SOMEDAY!

great news from news 3

weeeeeeelll, i'm feeling better. i suppose it's a good thing i wasn't on this week's schedule, as it seems i wouldn't be able to come in much. i still don't feel up to working. just sitting around on my ass and watching tv. damn! last night i vowed not to watch tv today since i've been laying on the couch and watching it for days. and guess what i'm doing right now.....oh well. it's only the price is right. i'll turn it off at noon.....maybe. i love this show. thanks to my first babysitter norma who used to watch it everyday and thereby inplanted it in my life. how could i live without it? wow, i could totally watch it at school. i forget these things. i need to find a tv for next year. and someone to live with....hmmm. damn it, so much mucus. sorry, too much information. ab knitted an ipod case with my instruction. she finished last night and it looks awesome. she's going back to western today, moving back in, classes start for her tomorrow, boooooo. i mean, she's real close by, but no longer just down the street. and i feel like i.....wasted?..no that's not the right word....missed out on the last few days she was home since i was sick. damn only 6 more minutes of tv. how will i live? woah. this commercial is freaky. the guy is talking slower than the sounds are coming out of his mouth. or maybe....wait...no, i imagined it. crap, what's wrong with me? oh. my. god. i just heard the little news blurb for what's coming up next on news at noon.....and the chick just said "anyone over 13 can now get a flu shot. up next on news 3 at noon." YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. one week, oooneee wweeeeeeekkk earlier! gar. ok, i'm over it. not really, but moving on.....i'm hungry. alright, off to make some b-fast.